I lost Merlin
by FantasyPixie
Summary: Prince Arthur lost someone that he can never get back. Or can he? Read and find out.
1. Chapter 1

**Story: I lost Merlin. **

**Summery: King Arther lost someone he can never get back **

**By: Jessi009**

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His blood flows down from my hands, like red ribbons,

I press my guilty hands to his open wound, the blood still pouring from his now shaking body,

The guilt overflows my body, it's like I'm trapped in a room full of water, and there's little air left.

I sit down behind him, and place his head on my lap, my hands still on his wound.

He shakes violently and whispers a weak apology to me, over and over again.

It's not his fault; it's mine, mine and my tyrant of a father!

I'll never forgive the king, my father, for what he's done, I shall never forgive him!

'Forgive me' Merlin pleads; tears in his eyes, a hand on his chest, his hand on mine.

'What for, your magic? You have nothing to apologize for; it is I who should apologize to you'

'Wh-why?' Merlin questions; while he gasps for what little air he can get.

'Because of my Father, he did this to you, I did this to you' a tear escapes from my eye and rolls down my cheek.

'You -_pant_- should -_pant_- never _–pant-_ be -_pant-_ blamed -_pant_- for -_pant_- your -_pant_- Fathers –_pant_- actions. Even- if- you- are- a- prat! ' he smiles at me goofily and I chuckle and smile back at my manservant, my best friend, remembering all the fun times we had.

'You _still_ can't remember who I am!' I mocking replied.

'Promise- me- one- thing- _Arthur'_

'What?'

'That- you-will-one-day-become-an-_epic_-king'

'I will' the tears flow easily from my eyes now.

'Good-bye-Prince-Arthur'

Merlin breathed for one last time, his body stiffened, his eyes slowly closed and his smile faded. His life disappeared from his boney body.

'Good bye Merlin' I stuttered.

I cradled Merlin in my arms and buried my face in the crook of Merlin's neck. I had once said to Merlin that '_no man was worth his tears'_. How wrong I was.

I had lost him, I lost Merlin; my manservant, but most importantly I had lost my best friend.

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_Review? Should I make this into a multi-chapter? _


	2. The Troll

_AN- So what do you think? If you could also be kind enough to give me feed back, that would be great. I'm trying to improve my writing skills :D _

The rain was nice, with the rain you always knew what was coming. It was safe.

Humans on the other hand were rash, merciless. They were unpredictable.

Arthur lifted his grief stricken face towards the rain, the drops of water were cool, but Arthur was already so cold, so numb. His watery eyes fell back upon the slender boy in front of him.

Fresh sobs exploded from Arthur's chest, how could they play such a cruel trick on him?

He threw his head up to the black night and let out shouts of despair-

'GOD PLEASE BRING MY BEST FRIEND, MY BROTHER BACK TO ME'

It was useless, God couldn't hear him, and would he even listen to him if he had?

Arthur begrudgingly stood from the spot where he sat. He took off his warm leather waist coat and gingerly placed it over the still boy lying on the wet ground.

_Arthur shakily placed a foot in front of the other and went deeper into the frost of indigo with every step he walked. _

My father's a hypocrite, he hates anything and anyone magic and slaughters anyone that processes magic without a second thought and yet he conspired with a sorceress to make me kill Merlin. I hate him, him and that witch, Morgause.

I couldn't tell it was him, it looked nothing like the Merlin I knew; his boyish figure had been replaced with the body of a troll, his blue eyes became little black pinpricks and his goofy smile was nothing more than a grimace.

So being the Prince that I am, I of coarse had to kill the beast. I thought I could have brought its head back as a trophy for the king, I thought I could at last make him proud to call me his son. _Arthur scoffed, _if only, he thought. From this day on he would never speak to the king again!

It was only when Arthurs sword plunged into the troll's chest did the spell break and Merlin took the stinking trolls place.

"_Merlin?" the Prince stood in confusion at the sight of his man servant standing in front of him and not the troll in which he stabbed with his sword into the monsters gut._

_Prince Arthur looked at Merlin, still wondering where on earth the troll had got to. Merlin still had his short messy raven hair, his body was still slight like it had always been, but instead of having that god dam goofy grin on his face his mouth was contorted in pain and he was looking downwards at his stomach. _

_Arthur followed Merlin's gaze and just stood there, disbelievingly. The Prince lifted the sword in his grasp, circled it in his hand and flung it to the soil at what he saw; on the very tip of his sword, there was blood, but not the green blood he had been expecting to see. It was red blood, it was humans' blood. _

_Merlin's legs buckled underneath him and he fell forward, driving the silver sword further into his chest as he went. _

"_MERLIN" Arthur screamed in fear. _

_He closed the gap between himself and Merlin, dropping to his knees as soon as he was close enough to Merlin. _

"_I- tried- to- tell- you- Arthur- it's- me- Merlin" Merlin struggled to speak. _

"_I thought you were a troll, if I knew it was you I would have never-" _

"_You- should-go, I'll die soon- any-way!" _

"_Then I'm not gonna let you die alone Merlin."_

"_Bu-" _

"_No buts, that final!"_

Arthur's pain over powered him and he fell to the ground and buried his face in his hand and cried, 'Someone please help me, I have no idea what to do!"

_After an hour or so the rain came, soaking both him and Merlin in the process. Arthur had to drag Merlin under a tree to keep him safe. After that Merlin started to hallucinate. _

"_I'm sorry Arthur. It was I who poisoned Morgana, I had too, Kilgharrah__ said I had too" _

"_Kilgharrah, who's he__?" _

"_He's the dragon that use to be in the dungeon, the one I used magic to get rid of" Merlin focused his eyes on Arthur, worry and fear set in his eyes. _

"_Magic, you're a sorcerer!" _

"_Yes Arthur, but I never learnt magic, I was born with magic. If there was a button I could to make me somehow human, I would."_

"_Merlin, you are human. I have to go and get help; I'll ask my father if he could help." _

"_No, no, please don't leave me on my own, the King did this to me, he found out about the magic, __Morgause __helped him. This was his plan all along!" _

"_Really, my father did this to you!"_

"_Yes" _

"_Merlin, I still need to get help for you!" _

"_Please Sire, don't leave me, please, please don't go, don't go, don't go, don't go-" _

"_Merlin it's okay, its okay; I'm here I'm not going to leave you" Arthur felt the tears trickle lightly down his face. Merlin couldn't die. Could he? After all he was only human. _

Arthur reality came crashing down and covered him in a sheet and suffocated him. Not only was his best friend dying, or, or dead. His father betrayed him and he killed his best friend. He was a murderer!

_AN- So if you could now R&R :D Also there's a poll on if Merlin should live or die. I will let Merlin live/ die based on the poll :)_


	3. The blood's not coming off

**_AN- This chapter had to be redone, it was so unrealistic...anyway hope you like it :Smiles like a idiot and nods head...a lot:_**

Three days had passed. Three unbearably long, agonizing days and Arthur had stayed with Merlin the entire time.

The pain in Arthur's heart corrupted him; he couldn't sleep, or eat, it was like he'd lost a limb when Merlin died; he could still function correctly, but without _that_ part of his arm or leg or sight it wasn't the same. It could never be the same again. Merlin was that part of Arthur's arm or leg, he was Arthur's sight. Without Merlin Arthur couldn't function, not properly anyway, they _were_, they still _are_, they will always be like two sides of the same coin. That could never be changed.

Arthur sat with Merlin; his legs were crossed and his stained hands rested on his knees. As for Merlin, well he stayed the same as before; his body was unnaturally still, his eyes were closed, if the Prince didn't know any better he would have thought Merlin was asleep, except he checked the slender boys pulse throughout the course of the three days, he was most definitely dead!

The two boys stayed like that for some time. Arthur stared straight ahead, as he tried to process the idea that his friend was..._ asleep, and _never to awaken, Merlin _sleeping_, yes they stayed like, even when Arthur heard a twig from the forest ground _crack _from the weight above it. Yet Arthur did nothing, just sat there, didn't move, or jump up, or make a grab for his soiled sword; he just... sat there, unmoving, unblinking, he was inhuman. Without Merlin at his side he couldn't function correctly.

_Crack _the noise had gotten closer, _crack, crack, crack, _the onlooker could now see the two male figures, it came _closer_ and _closer_ towards the two men, now the onlooker was standing right behind Arthur, reaching out for him. The onlooker raised its hand towards Arthur and a second after a blood curdling scream could be heard throughout the whole of the forest...

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"Gwen I hope you know where you're going." Morgana asked for the thousandth time that day.

"Yes Malady I know where we're heading Arthur told me before he left where he was going, so have a little faith in me, please?" Gwen snapped back a replied. She didn't like this new impatient Morgana; ever since she escaped from that place she'd changed; she seemed more... masochistic.

"I'm sorry Gwen; I did mean to shout at you, it's just... Arthur should have returned two days ago and who knows where Merlin has gotten to?"

"I know, I too am worried about Arthur, err I mean the Prince. As for Merlin he's probably fallen down a hole knowing him."

"You don't have to hide your love for Arthur from me you know. I am not Uther!"

"How did you know ab-"

"I am not a fool Gwen! Or a man for that matter, you may be able to fool all the men in Camelot, but you cannot fool the women." Morgana answered in a harsh tone.

"Oh, right, so do _all_ the women know about... _us_?"

"Indeed. I think we need to split up, we may be able to find Arthur quicker that way."

"Good idea, okay so you head West and I'll carry on to the North, okay?"

"Okay, good luck" Morgana wished her with a kind smile, the old smile, and headed towards West lands.

The time passed quickly and had carried Gwen from the evening to the night and now it was sunrise. Gwen looked across the horizon and saw the wonderful colours rise from the ground; red, yellow, purple, brown all erupted into the sky.

"_Such a beautiful sight to see, if only I could find Arthur"_ Gwen sighed to herself; she had grown tired and hungry from the vast walking.

As if her pleas were heard from above, Lady Gwen came into a clearing in the hearts forest. And therein the forests heart their where two male figures. Gwen approached the two figures gingerly; she walked further into the forest, a twig from the ground _cracked _from the weight of her foot. _Crack, crack, crack _went the twigs.

Gwen could tell it was Arthur now; she could tell from the boyish blonde hair that looked stiff from the rain. _'Why doesn't Arthur move? I made enough noise, didn't I? _'Gwen wondered. _Why is he just sitting there?' _ Gwen looked around the forest for any clue, any sign why Arthur was acting so strangely, she reach out towards Arthur to let him know she was here, behind him, but then she looked to the right of Arthur and saw a log, well what she thought to be a log, than she thought that too was strange, _why would he not sit on the log?_

And then she saw that the log was in fact a man's body, a lifeless body; with raven hair and high cheekbones. Gwen recognized that face anywhere, she screamed at the sight of Merlin, just lying there, unmoving.

"Arthur, what happened?" Gwen breathed and placed her hands on Arthur's shoulders.

"Arthur?" Gwen asked again when she got no reply from the Prince.

"He's dead. I killed him!"

Gwen shook her head in denial and held onto Arthur tighter.

"NO, you would never-"

"But I did!" Gwen barely heard his voice over the howling of the wind, but from what she could hear, she didn't like; Arthur's voice was flat, monotone, dead!

"Can-can we save him?"

"YOU DON'T THINK I'VE ALREADY TRIED THAT GWEN!"

Arthur looked up at Gwen and then back towards Merlin; he took hold of Merlin's wrist one last time and checked for a pulse, still there was no beating from underneath his cool skin, no hum to say that Merlin was still alive and kicking, that Arthur had just made a grave mistake. The Princes hand released Merlin's wrist. It was only now that Arthur saw Merlin's dried blood on his hands; he looked at his hands in horror, he had to get the blood off, it was a constant reminder that he'd killed Merlin.

Arthur rose from the ground and ran towards the nearby lake; he had to get the blood off his hands; his hands drowned in the water and yet, the blood was not coming off, Arthur scrubbed his hands as best he could, but no, the blood refused to leave his hands.

"Arthur, you need to stop, your hands are bleeding, Arthur, You Need to _**Stop**_." Gwen grabbed his hands from the water and knelt down beside him.

"His blood, it's not coming off Gwen!" Arthur wrapped his arms around Gwen's waist and sobbed into her chest.

"Arthur, the bloods all gone, it's all gone, shh." Gwen cooed at Arthur to try and make him relax a little.

"My lord, come back to the campsite; we must tend to your hands!"

Arthur nodded his head weakly in agreement and got shakily back up onto his feet (with a lot of help from Gwen.) they made their way back to the campsite where Merlin still lay, Arthur leaning on Gwen for support.

Arthur abruptly halted when he and Gwen made it back to the campsite, making Gwen stumble in the process, the campsite, it was empty. The boy that once lay on the ground was now gone.

"WHERE HAS MERLIN GONE, HE WAS RIGHT THERE!" Arthur panicked and fell to the ground where Merlin had once been. Arthur patted the ground, just to make sure that there wasn't a trap door, no such luck. The ground had no soft spot, no trap door; Merlin had just..._disappeared _into thin air. '_No' _Arthur pleaded _'No, no, no'_ The Prince began to rock himself _'How could this be, where could he have gone? He was dead, I killed him, and he was dead!' _

"My Lord"

Arthur looked up to see Gwen standing in front of him; her eyes held a sad expression, like the time her father died, Arthur let his eyes roam Gwen; her hair was a mess from travelling in the forest, her garment had small rips in the fabric, and then his eyes came to rest on the object in her hands; A red kerchief.

Arthur stood from his spot, walked over to where Gwen stood and hesitantly took the kerchief from her shaking hands, he lifted fabric to his nose and sniffed the scent of the owner, and it was Merlin's red kerchief.

Somehow having a piece of Merlin gave him strength to carry on.

"Gwen, we must go back to Camelot immediately; we need to inform Gaius that Merlin is... dead."

**_AN- So...what did you think of it, any better? REVIEW, Uther commands you!_**

**_ What do we say... 3 little reviews and I'll post the next chapter quicker? _**

**_Uther: Yes we must have three review before you next update! _**

**_Me: Ok Uther_**

**_Uther: That's sire to you... peasant!_**

**_Me: FLAMING CHEEK! _**

**_Uther: What did you say? _**

**_Me: Oh... nothing Sire _**


	4. Where am I?

_Title: I lost Merlin_

_Chapter 4: Where am I? _

_By: Jessi009_

_**AN- Hello again, fact for today: You guy are great! I asked for 3 reviews and you gave me 5, yippee, you guys made my day with your reviews! THANKS :D **_

_**So as promised... here's the next chapter, bit short than what I normally do :( but ah well, I promise the next chapter will be longer! **_

_**HAVE FUN READING :D **_

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_Where am I? _Merlin's head was throbbing; _bang, bang, bang. _In fact it wasn't just his head that was throbbing; it was his entire body; it was on fire. Merlin whimpered out in pain.

_Why can I not see anything? He was positive he had his eyes open, but all he could see was white covering his eyes. _

_Arthur where did- where did you go? _The last thing he remembered clearly was running after Arthur, _but why was I running? _

Merlin tried to move, but something restricted him from doing so, something cold and heavy around his wrists and ankles,_ where they chains? _

Merlin could feel the blood rushing to his head;_ Gaius once said to me that if the blood rushes to your head than my dear boy you must be hanging upside down. So that must mean I'm hanging upside down. _

Merlin focused on the area around him; he needed to focus on something other than the pain that was tormenting his body.

He tried to work out where he was. He already ruled out any type of woods since he couldn't hear any type of wild life. So he concentrated again, this time harder, still noting but the howls of the wind, _does that mean I'm outdoors? _

Merlin tried to cocked his head to one side; to try and hear any type of sound coming from anywhere around him, he wanted to distinguish any sound quickly; his neck was in hurting him, to say he was in pain was an understatement; every move, every twitch of his neck sent ripples of agonising pain down his spine. _You need to focus Merlin! Focus on anything, other than the pain. _

So Merlin focused and blocked out all his other senses, except for his hearing. He could hear what sounded like falling water. _A waterfall, I'm near a waterfall, I must be in some sort of cave then. _

'_He-hello' _Merlin called out in a weak voice, testing out his one and only theory.

'He-helloo' the cave replied back to Merlin, an echo in his voice. _So I'm trapped inside a cave. But who brought me here? They obviously don't seek to help me! _ Merlin tugged at his chains, regretting after he did; the chains dug into his raw soars, ripping more of his flesh off in the process. Merlin screamed in pain.

_Bang, bang, bang, bang. What is that noise? It's not my brain trying to claw its way out of my skull this time, the sound coming closer bang, bang, bang. Is the noise footsteps? _

"Why is the sorcerer not died already? We had an agreement Witch!" The Kings harsh voice boomed from a far distance. _Is that the...King? Yes, I think it is_. _The entrance must be somewhere to the left of me. _

"All in good time Uther. Your son is safe from him now, isn't that what matters Uther?" _Morgause? Is she the cause of my pain? _

"I want him dead, now!" Uther roared at the blonde haired witch.

"And again I will say all in due time!" Morgause snapped at Uther.

"Just make sure he dies!"

"I will, but by the looks of things, your son has already saved me a job." There was a pregnant pause; Merlin could hear footsteps coming from the right. _Did Arthur stab me? That's right he said he thought I was a troll. Oh no! I think I told him about my magic. _

**_"Intromanga anof asay" _**

"You must leave now; the Prince is on his way back to Camelot, he looks quite...upset!" Morgause didn't even try and hide the joy in her voice.

"This isn't over, Witch!"

Merlin heard the banging sound of feet once more. _Uther must have left. _

_Bang, bang, bang, bang. _The footsteps were lighter than before. _Morgause must still be here, but what does she want with me, what use am I to her? _

"Rise and shine Merlin!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Merlin screamed in pain; the flesh on his back was being torn open and ripped apart, but Merlin couldn't feel a blade on his back, Morgause was using her magic.

"Oh Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, I'm going to have some fun with you!" Morgause cackled.

When the blackness came to take Merlin, he welcomed it to take away his pain.

"A-Arthur" Merlin whispered

"Don't worry your pretty little head over Arthur now, he's fine, _you on the other hand are an entirely different story!" _ Morgause was so close now that Merlin could fell her icy breathe on his face. It made him shiver, which cause him even more pain. _A-Arthur, help me, please, I- I need you!_

**_AN- I think it's a kinda a win/lose situation; we get Merlin back(alive) :D...but he's in a lot of pain :( _**

**_Me: So what did you think? _**

**_Merlin: It's not very nice; I'm in a lot of pain._**

**_Me I know, I'm really, really sorry for that :Nods head and hugs Merlin: _**

**_Merlin: It's alright, as long as I make it out alive. _**

**_Me: Yeeeeaaahhh, well about that..._**

**_Merlin: WHAT! You mean I'm gonna die? _**

**_Me: Not sure yet, I need at least 5 reviews off the readers to make up my mind! _**

**_Merlin: DEAR READERS, PLEASE GIVE HER 5-10 REVEIWS TO KEEP ME IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING! _**


	5. AN

I'm so incredibly sorry for the long wait for the next chapter, I'm also sorry that this isn't a chapter itself. You see:

**I BROKE MY LAPTOP! :(**

Well actually the keys in my laptop.

***Note to self*** Never ever eat over the laptop again!

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The next instalment should be in a couple of days, I hope.

You may now kill me however you please.

~Jessi009

**Merlin Cast: AFTER HER!**

**Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhh, don't run at me with pitch forks! ****especially you _Melin_! **


	6. Gaius always worried!

_Title: I lost Merlin_

_Chapter 5: Gaius always worried!_

_By: Jessi009_

_**AN- Hello, I missed you guys! Seriously, I did! Anyway, good news reader... I HAVE MY LAPTOP BACK :D **_

_**So here it is the next episode, I would just like to say - 'I'm so sorry' please forgive me *major puppy dog eyes* **_

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Gaius always worried about Merlin; there was no point in questioning that. So when Merlin came bounding out of his small chamber one day, muttering something about Arthur being in grave danger made him worry even more.

It was a sunny day in Camelot and smells of herbs filled Gaius nostrils as he waddled across the uneven cobbles of the market square. It had been three days or so since Merlin had ran after Arthur and still neither Merlin nor Arthur had returned to Camelot- Gaius had a dreaded feeling that something was wrong in the pit of his stomach.

Still Gaius went on with his daily duty of tending to the sick, once on a visit to the lower town- to tend to a small ten year old boy- that Gaius suddenly filled with worry for some reason.

It was on the fourth day that the Prince entered the physician's chamber- a solemn look plagued his face- with Gwen, but no Merlin- Gaius remembered thinking how odd that was, seeing as Merlin and Prince Arthur were usually joined at the hip most days, the feeling of dread and worry came back in to the pit of Gaius stomach again.

Gaius can still remember that day so clearly now; The Prince asked, if he could take a seat, so he did as his Sire asked. And then Gwen walked passed Arthur and took her gentle hands in Gaius shaking ones, and knelt down beside him, looking up, tears filled those sweet and caring brown eyes of hers. The Prince didn't have to say anything; he didn't have to utter a single word to Gaius, for Gaius already knew what the Prince would tell him.

"It's Merlin, isn't it, he's dead, I had this feeling, this dread in my heart, that something was wrong, now I know why- it was because of Merlin."

"Yes, I'm so gravelly sorry Gaius; it's my entire fault, I killed him, but Gaius you must believe me I didn't me to; I would never want to hurt Merlin, he was- he is my best friend, my blood brother. Please, please believe me."

Prince Arthur dropped to his knees in front of Gaius; head bowed in shame of what he had done.

The Physician tilted Arthurs head up so that he could see the look on the Princes face- distraught, Prince Arthur was distraught.

"Calm down Sire, that's it, deep breaths; now please, can you tell me what happened to my boy."

"I stabbed him, with my sword- but Gaius, you have to believe me, I never meant to, I swear on my life I never meant to, Merlin, he- he didn't look like himself, he look like a troll, I'm so sorry Gaius.

"It's alright, I understand, I think. I know you would never hurt Merlin, not on purpose anyway."

Gaius gently stroked Arthur's head, to try and offer any kind of comfort for him.

Gaius slowly rose from his chair and tapped Gwen on the shoulder and jerked his head to the side to make sure Gwen would follow him to his work desk.

"Gaius, are you okay? I mean, you've had quite a shock, we don't even know if he's- he's dead, we never found his body." Gwen looked at the old man; pity and hope could be seen in her eyes.

"I'm more concerned about the Princes wellbeing, look at him Gwen; he looks so distraught so... confused"

Gaius and Gwen looked at each other and then back towards Arthur; he was on his knees, his arms leaning on the chair where Gaius once sat.

From the light seeping from the candles that where dotted around the chamber you could see how much of a state Arthur was in; his hair - a right royal mess- was standing up at all ends. Arthur buried his face in his hands; you could see dried blood splattered on his hands, the Prince pulled the red sleeves of his tunic across his hands and grabbed them at the ends; even though his tunic was red you could still make out the crimson stain of blood on it.

"Could you see about getting some hot water, I think the Prince might need a bath." Gaius whispered to Gwen leading her to the door.

"Of course"

After Gwen had left to retrieve some hot water Gaius steadily made his way back towards Arthur, when he touched Arthur's shoulder he jumped at the touch.

"Sire, maybe you should rest, you look tired."

"No I- Arthur stopped when he saw the look on the old man's face- Fine, but only for a while."

Gaius lead Arthur toward the steps leading to Merlin's room, he look frightened at first- because it was Merlin's room- but Gaius just about managed to calm him down by saying that 'nothing bad would happen'.

Gaius lowered the Prince into the cold bed; Arthur shifted, trying to find a comfy position to sleep.

Later that night, Gaius had to give the Prince a sleeping draft to relieve him from his nightmare.

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King Uther was sitting at his table in the great hall when the doors swung opened to reveal the two guards -who were on duty to stand guard tonight- and Gaius, his old, trusted, adviser.

"Sire, I wish to inform you that Prince Arthur has returned safely and is resting in my wards chambers."

"Why is he not in his own chambers" Uther asked, panic evident in his husk voice.

"Well Sire, your son came to me earlier on to tell me that my ward, Merlin, has died."

"Oh... oh, Gaius I'm so sorry for your loss, if, if there's anything I can do, just let me know."

"You've done quite enough already, _Sire, _now sire if you would like to see your son, follow me to my chambers_" _

Gaius and the King made their way to the all too familiar chambers, as they took the final steps they suddenly heard a terrified scream coming from the physician's chambers.

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Uther and Gaius ran- or fast walk, for Gaius- into the chambers and up the trio of steps. When they stumbled into the tiny room to see Arthur backed into the corner of the room; his arms gripped his legs tightly and he was having violent tremors, _He's covered in that disgusting, vile sorcerer's blood, _Uther noticed.

"Son, what's wrong, what's happened?" Uther went to place a comforting hand on his son's shoulder when Arthur glared at him, Uther was shocked and so was Gaius.

"_Get... away... from... me... now!" _Arthur's voice was low, menacing and held a tone of complete and utter loathing that was aimed towards his father.

"Arthur, you _dare to speak to me in that manner?_"

Arthur just looked at him and then, after a pregnant pause leaned towards his father and whispered into his ear.

Uther stiffened at whatever his son whispered to him, fear and sadness clouded his eyes. After recovering from the shock he rose, still looking in disbelief at his son.

"I, I have to go!" Uther turned his head towards Gaius, turned on his heals took three steps, and retched open the door in fury.

As the door slammed behind Uther, he stayed still for a moment to listen into Arthur's and Gaius conversation; he heard the sound of somebody sobbing, then he realized the sound was coming from his son. Uther felt sadness in his heart from that one, single sound; he had felt that pain only few times before, one of them being when his beloved, sweet wife had died.

"Curse that sorcerer; he will most surely _suffer_ for blinding my son to the dangers of magic!" On that final note King Uther flicked his cloak and stalked out of the Physicians chambers.

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**_AN-_ Well, how was it? **

**R&R, please? :D **

**Anyway, what _was _Arthur's nightmare about? let me know all of your ideas :) **

**AND HOW EPIC WAS MERLIN TONIGHT! I'm just gonna come right out and say it- Morgana's an evil bi**c h :P **


	7. I'm no man's lap dog!

**_Title, I lost Merlin _**

**_By, Jessi009_**

**_Chapter, six, I'm no man's lap dog! _**

**_AN- The next episode in the story, hope you enjoy it, if you would be kind enough to R&R that would be great, I've kinda lost my faith in writing (I don't think I'm good at it any more) anyway, ENJOY ;D _**

The wind tapped slowly on the stained glass, arched window- which was left slightly open. Not waiting for a reply, he slithered through the small crack left by the open window.

He then travelled across the cluttered chamber, across the mass of spell books and crumpled clothes that lay scattered across the old floor boards. To where, finally, he spied his victim, asleep, and looking far too peaceful for his liking.

So he danced his way up the man's spine, which the man gave a shiver in return, the wind smiled gleefully at this and began to crawl his way to the laying mans neck and then, at last, into his ear.

* * *

"Prat" Merlin pouted in annoyance at Arthur.

It was a sunny day in the forest of oak, even though leafs blocked the sun light from travelling all the way down to the forest ground. The blonde haired boy had stripped down to expose his bare chest, leaving the raven haired boy to carry his clothing, along with the rest of the hunting gear.

"Hey! Don't get mad at me because of your clumsiness." The Prince shot back.

"You could help me, you know, I mean this is _your_ stuff"

"But it's helping you to get stronger; you really should thank me for this- He smirked at Merlin who was muttering to himself- Sorry I didn't hear you then"

"I _said,_ by making me carry _your _things, you're _helping _me build my character then?" Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Exactly, now you're getting the hang of it Merlin." The Prince walked forward leaving Merlin trailing behind him.

It was only when Arthur heard the _whooshing_ from the forest trees did he look over his right shoulder to see a sword plunge itself into Merlin's small chest.

Arthur stared in horror and fear at what had just happened, he was frozen stiff with fear at his gasping friend.

'No, Merlin, don't die, please!' He ran to where his lanky friend had fallen, and fell to his knees scooping Merlin from the cracked ground in the process.

'You did this... you've killed me... I thought we were friends!' Merlin stared at him with disappointing eyes. 'Look at your hands, Arthur, look at your hands!"

The Prince, for once, did what Merlin asked of him, and he gasped in horror at what he saw; his hands were covered in a red substance, but it wasn't just red like substance, it was blood, Merlin's blood.

* * *

Arthur awoke gasping for air, sweat soaked his body, and sobbing screams sounded from his mouth. He ran over to where the open window in the far corner was, and buried himself in the crook of the corner. He started to bang his head into the solid, brick wall; trying to rid himself of the terrible images of his nightmare.

Gaius came running- if you could call it that- into the chamber to find the future King in a sorry state; backed up against the wall, choking on his sobs no less, banging his head hard against the wall.

"Arthur, stop it! You'll hurt yourself!"

"I don't care, not anymore. Gaius the red, the red on my hands, it won't wash away."

Gaius snapped and looked on at Arthur with angry eyes, Merlin gave his life for the Prince, and this is how he's repaying him, by wasting away into nothing, Gaius had had enough of it!

"Sire, MERLIN GAVE HIS LIFE UP SO YOU COULD LIVE, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPLY HIM, BY CRYING, BRAKING DOWN LIKE THIS! YOU ARE THE PRINCE START ACTING LIKE ONE, MERLIN HAS LOST SO MANY PEOPLE HE'S LOVED BECAUSE OF YOU, AND NOW I LOST MY SON"

Arthur was shocked to say the least; no one had spoken to him like that before. Not even Merlin. Gaius was right, he needed to be a Prince, and the time for crying was over.

Arthur clutched the wall and pulled himself up, so that he was standing.

"You're right Gaius; I have been acting like a spoilt child, with no thought to how anyone else felt, and for that I'm sorry." Arthur tenderly placed a hand on the old man's shoulder.

Arthur turned on his heal and started to walked out of the chamber until Gaius asked

"Where are you going, Sire?"

"I need to speak with the King." Gaius gave a confused look; Arthur just stared right back at him and headed out of the chamber.

The Prince made it to the west when the agonizing pain took over his body; he felt like he was on fire and he could feel the flesh on his back rip apart, like stitches coming undone.

And then he heard _him_, he heard _his_ voice pleading, _'__'Arthur, help me, please, I- I need you!'_

The pain came to an abrupt halt. Had it had been Merlin, was he- could he- still be alive?

Arthur look around the corridor; to see if anyone had witnessed him fall to the ground; to his luck, it was late and everyone would be asleep.

He needed to find the King and fast, he was done with being his father's lap dog, he wanted answers!

**_AN- So, what do you think, was it good, bad? (R&R, PLEASE?) So some of you said that Gaius reaction to Merlin's death was a bit unrealistic, and I completely agree with you. But I wanted to do it so he-Gaius- could 'lash' out later on (be warned, this is not that last of his anger and sorrow!) _**

**_Also you asked about Arthur's nightmare, and well, here it is, hope you enjoyed it? _**

**_One very last thing, a few of you may be wondering what Arthur whispered to Uther in the last chapter, don't worry I haven't forgotten, I just want to leave it to 'simmer' a tiny bit longer._**

**_Well, bye, _**

**_Jessi009 x _**


	8. The plot thickens

**AN- I'm extremely sorry for the really long wait :( **

**A BIG THANK YOU to pendragon2601 for being my amamzing beta reader! :hugs:**

**Well... Tada, here it is.**

The Witch looked out over the bustling streets of Camelot watching the men and women coming and going in such a hurry to get their jobs finished, from her window she saw Guinevere carrying her garments, swaying as she walked. She raised her head in thought.

Morgana thought back to _those_ times. When she was a naive little girl pressed down under Uther's thumb. Every time Morgana thought to her past, about her servant, half brother and _Uther_, she couldn't help but think of _him_- _that backstabbing, betraying fool_- he blurred her vision from every old memory-_Plaguing me-_

She remembered the time when they saved the little druid boy who Uther wanted to kill, that's when she knew she saw him more as a lover then a friend. But then he poisoned her_- I would've died-_and that was the end of their friendship- _it had to be._

"_Sister__," _Morgana turned around to see Morgause standing centre of her chamber with her purple velvet cloak, blonde hair flowing and a smirk tugging at her lips

"Sister, how's the plan proceeding, all well I hope?" Morgana strode from her spot at the window to hug her sister.

"It's going better than we could ever have hoped for. I give the rat three more days before he dies!"

"Only three days?" she replied in a hushed voice. _Oh no I thought...- wait what am I saying, he should die!_

"Yes. Now sister, I need your help. I want you to come back with me and see the rat squirm!"

"Of course, it would be my _pleasure_!" An evil grin played at her lips.

"Now sister, I must leave, met me tonight; at the witching hour." Morgause hugged her sister one last time and stalked out the door, as Morgana watch the older women leave; she couldn't help but think_do__I really want him to die, in such a painful way? Yes, I do!_

**_...Meanwhile..._**

Arthur paused thinking about what he was about to do. As much as Arthur hated his father right now, he still had to respect him. He put on mask and stormed into the great hall, the knights where there, discussing tactics...- _great, this is going to be so much harder then I first anticipated._

Arthur stood his ground and waited for the King to take notice of him.

"_Arthur,_what do you think you are playing at? The knights and I were having a very urgent meeting -" Uther looked at his son anger and confusion evident in his eyes. "Leave_, now!__"_

"_No.__" _Arthur looked at the king, his head stubbornly held high.

Uther looked at his son in disbelief; never had he talked to him in such an un-respectful manner. "I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear that!" He asked the fury could be heard in his voice.

"Oh, so you're deaf now as well as a cold- blooded murderer?" Shock washed away the anger in Uther's face.

Uther looked at the silent knights. "Leave us." he ordered them. One by one the knights made their exit towards the great doors. Once the men had gone Uther slowly turned his head towards Arthur and leant onto the table for support, in a patronising voice he asked "What is the meaning of all this Arthur?"

_How dare he pretend like nothing's wrong, he lied to me, so many times__. Arthur thought with a bitter laugh.__"_I know... all about your little secret!" A look of panic appeared on Uther's face. This was all Arthur needed for the truth.

"It's true then, what he said, it's all true." Arthur felt a surge of anger mixed with pity run through his body. Uther just looked at his son, speechless. _How did he find out about the boy?_

"I don't know what you're talking about." Uther gingerly walked to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder, which his son shook off as soon as it landed on his skin.

"He was going to kill me, he was evil. He had _magic,_ Arthur." Uther begged his son to see sense in this pure madness.

"I didn't care, I still don't and he was my friend, a missing brother if it were." Arthur sank to his knees in despair and grabbed his hair in anger.

"Arthur, this is no way to behave about a man servant!" Uther bellowed at him and struck out in anger; he pulled Arthur's head up - by his hair- and hit him with the back of his hand.

Uther regretted what he had done almost as soon as he had done it. He had never once hit Arthur... until today, the sorcerer made him do that. There was a moment of silence, until it was shattered by Arthur's screams of pain.

"A-Arthur, what's the matter?" Uther once again tried to hug his son, to offer him any type of comfort but again his son pushed him away and clambered clumsily to his feet.

"Leave me alone... I _hate_ you!" Arthur stumbled his way out of the great hall, knocking chairs down as he went, leaving Uther to his lonely silence.

Arthur knew he had to go and find the waterfall he saw in his... _vision_? Arthur knew that was stupid, since when did he get _visions__._ All he knew was that this waterfall had something to do with Merlin, after all Merlin's body never came back with him to Camelot.

**AN- Well what do you think? **

**I went a bit OCC at the ending with Arthur and Uther :| R&R and please tell me what you think. **

**Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter? **

**Again, Thanks ****pendragon2601**

******THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO R&R , STORY ALERTED AND PUT ON THEIR FAVOURITES :hugs:**

* * *

By the way I have a 3 part trailer for this story thanks to ItssoDom ( .com/user/ItsSoDom)

Here are the links:

.com/watch?v=WC9O-R6WZFY&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

.com/watch?v=cTVqrY6fbKw&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

.com/watch?v=cOr8PzWta1s&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL


	9. Where is my mind

Where is my mind? 

Arthur was packing; he was going he didn't know... all he knew was that he had to find Merlin. He let out a dry laugh; this had to be the craziest thing he'd done since the time he tried to hide a puppy under his bed when he was seven.

The Prince rushed around the room in a mad frenzy; getting anything that popped into his mind, anything that he needed, anything that Merlin needed- because he _would _find him- that meant food, water... that reminded the Prince that he would have to make a stop at Gaius for medical supplies.

Arthur was so tired; all the energy he reserved seeped from his body and poured out onto the floors with every step he took. His body craved sleep, but the Prince denied it; whenever he tried to rest he always woke with a scream and in a cold sweat and then- even though he tried not to- cried into his pillow like a weak man- or was it? Was a man weak for showing emotion or did it make him a brave one?

Arthur walked over to the open window and looked towards the sun, it was already half way in the sky; Arthur shook his head in disbelief, half the day wasted, he promised himself that he would have been gone by now. With that note he took off in a sprint.

"Watch it mister, some of us has work to be doing!" A little boy with a head of messy brown hair shouted at the Prince before he knew he was yelling at; when he did it was all 'Sorry Sire, didn't know Sire, forgive us Sire."

Arthur didn't have time for the little boy today; he needed to get going and find Merlin! He sprinted down the steps and across the corridor to the old physician's room.

When he ran into the room he was quite surprised to find not only Gaius, but all the Knights and Gwen in the room with him, he needed to be quick on his feet, needed to lie, no one could discover what he was going to do; they would all say that he was acting crazy from grief and send him back to his room to 'sleep' didn't they realize that Merlin was alive, that he just needed to be found?

"Sire, what are you doing here?" the voice came from Gwen; god how Arthur wished he could tell her about the waterfall- but he couldn't, this was something he had to do on his own. Think, a lie, just a white one to get all the things he needed. The Prince racked his brain, he just needed one little idea to set the ball rolling, and then he had it; it was small and simple, but it would work, a lie so simple that it could fool many a man.

He walked from the door he was still gripping for dear life and proceeded to the middle of the room.

"I needed to get medicine supplies for Kind Apatchies visit on Friday. The King asked if I could fetch some of the medicine in order to lock it up to keep it all safe." Arthur tried to keep breathing at a normal rate and keep his lies flowing; the breathing and flow of the voice was the first thing to look out for if you wanted to know if someone was lying.

"Very well Sire; if the King commands it, I'll just prepare a bag to keep them safe."

"Thank you Gaius it's much appreciated."

Arthur gazed out the window and looked up towards the sun; as soon as he was done here, he would tack up his horse and ride out into the direction of that waterfall from that vision.

Arthur was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize that an awkward silence swept the room and every pair of eyes were on him.

"Maybe you should take a seat Princess; you look tired." Gwaine was sitting near the far left of the table, a beer in his hand.

"I'm back to my room to sleep for the rest of the day after I've delivered the medicine."

Murmurs of replies broke the silence as Gaius appeared with a bag of potions, he walked to where the Prince stood and carefully handed over the heavy coarse material

"Thank you Gaius, I'll be off now." Arthur nodded to him and the rest of the group.

As Arthur was at the door, a thought stuck him and he had to find out the answer to his unasked question.

"What are you all doing here by the way?"

"Well... Sire we were making the arrangements for Merlin sire." Gaius was the one to answer him, Arthur visibly stiffened as he gripped on the door handle for the only support he could find.

Arthur slowly turned his face to the side- not that the group could see his face, but his side profile. You could see his jaw tighten as his Adams apple bob as the Prince swallow a lump.

"And... none of you thought to spare a little time to ask me if I might want a part in the... arrangements?"

Arthur couldn't stay in that room any longer, he needed to make his move and fast, and he needed to find Merlin.

He stumbled around the corridor and up the stairs back to his chambers, fell to his knees to grab the hidden travelling bag and ran back out before anyone would question his motives.

When Arthur finally made it to the royal stables he found it strange that his trusty horse was already tacked up and ready to go, Arthur decided not to question it because he didn't want any unwanted answers. He quickly made his way out of the stable and into the courtyard- he got a few strange looks from the people who lived in the village- but no one of higher archery was there to stop him, which pleased the Prince just fine.

Night had approached in the forest of light. Arthur and his steed stopped near the tallest willow tree in all the land. The Prince was so tired that he had no choice but to stop and rest by the tree, he barely had enough energy to feed and water the horse plus make a fire to keep him safe in the night.

After the draining tasks were complete Arthur slumped into the grass and rested his head on the bark of the old willow tree and fell into a slumber.

A blinding light woke the Prince, he rubbed his heavy eyes, when he finally was aware of his surrounding, and he was stunned; in front of him was a little floating blue ball of light, the light was emanating from within the heart of the ball.

After a minute or so the light started to scurry away into the distance.

"Wait, come back little light!" Arthur shouted after the light as he ran to follow it.

The ball of light came to a stop at a shimmering pool of water, turned around to somehow face Arthur and spoke in a sweet, soft child's voice and said:

"Arthur... you must hurry; Merlin is alive but his life force becoming weaker every day! The cruel witch tortures him so harshly, you must hurry Prince!

"How can I find him?"

"You already know that Arthur, you do not have to ask, now GO!"

With that the light slowly disappeared into the earth.

"Hurry Lavender, he's having tremors and blood seeps from his nose."

"I'm coming, we have to carry him into the hut and keep him warm!"

The tall, muscle bond man picked up the shaking blonde into his arms and rushed him into his home, his wife running behind him.

"Moss, move the things off the table and make room." A small woman stood up quickly and whisked the plates from the wooden table and got a thick blanket from the chest for the young man that now lay on the table.

After the tremors subsided the man eased his grip on the blonde's shoulders and turned to his daughter and wife, a worried look crossed all their faces.

"Who is the man dad?" the young woman asked her father.

"I'm not sure sweetheart." The father replied and turned back to the man on the table.

"Come on we've got to clean the blood off his face."

The daughter grabbed a wet cloth and whipped the dried blood from the man's face.

"Who are you strange man?"


End file.
